Last week I fell behind due to holidays in Italy, it was a long weekend with the family. The days passed by slowly and quickly in turn and I didn’t manage to blog about anything. But my mind was running full speed (as always). I enjoyed reading time during rainstorms and I’ve continued on my journey of reading The Artist’s Way (here’s a link to the copy I bought on Amazon). In fact, I read two chapters!

Reading The Artist's Way: Recovering a sense of Integrity

The fourth week of the journey is about recovering a sense of integrity. Although I see how morning pages can be useful, I definitely didn’t keep to the routine over vacation days. Sometimes, I don’t really feel the need. Although my experience has not been earth shattering per say… or a complete revolution, I’m certainly gaining tidbits of good information and a lot more understanding of my creative self in reading this book. This fourth chapter actually addresses the fact that for some it might not be a dramatic process for everyone – or we might not be able to see the change because we are in the trenches. Oddly enough, I’ve only been able to think about these headaches I’ve been getting every so often… sort of aching in the back of my head. Maybe I’m thinking too much!

The chapter also issues a challenge to not read for a week. Haha! I decided to change it up and try not surfing the internet and reading online, as opposed to traditional books. I really enjoy seeing what others do and reading blogs, but I also know it’s a huge time suck in my schedule. I can’t help it!

So this will be something I tackle for myself… to not overwhelm my senses. Of course, I have definitely learned to relax and just hang around outside playing with my puppy, so again, nothing dramatically changing for me. More awareness I suppose and tidying up of my habits and routines.

Since I didn’t feel so moved or needing of the time for the chapter, I decided to keep reading to the next one about recovering a sense of possibility. I know, I’m totally cheating, eh? This flexibility is why I like self-paced courses 🙂

Chapter Five is about limits. It was quite interesting because I’ve always been a dreamer and cheerleader type. It doesn’t mean that I’ve been able to always follow through with projects, but I’ll always be the first to say “why not?!” I really love this part of my personality… the crazy American dream factor, I like to say. Possibility is there.

The section about finding the river seems to be like going with the flow, another thing I like to say. I suppose in my mind, there are many affirmations and motivations already floating around. I love quotes and clever sayings… it’s something that has always been around for me. So I guess even though I have doubts and worries, criticizing myself in many ways… I have equally the other set of motivations to sort of balance things out. I suppose, I had never thought or realized that… but I truly feel that way. Makes me feel quite content.

The section that was the most interesting was about the Virtue trap. Basically that we seem to be totally okay on the outside and thinking of others, doing things to be unselfish. Even though we just want to be left alone. I often feel this way and it makes me feel very guilty. I want to spend time with family, but at the same time, I need solitude and quiet freedom to act upon my crazy ideas and musings. But it is a struggle.

I am always in awe of how parents are able to do anything at all!? I find it hard to just see my puppy sitting there, waiting for me to play with him. It is really hard to ensure that you are fulfilled because we don’t want to be selfish. We have been told and taught since childhood to share and not be selfish. Giving of yourself seems so virtuous. This is something I struggle with and not sure how to resolve it. I want it all! (Queen song comes to mind)

Something I do love about this chapter are all the dream and wish exercises. Lots of list making for me, because I find that the easier way to get things down in a more concise manner, rather than writing like I talk ala morning pages and these blogs I think HAHA! I’m thinking it would be good to turn all these lists into a journal of sorts. Sometimes I don’t like to write down wishes, because they might not come true and it saddens me to see the evidence…silly, right? Perhaps the courage to write it out is the first step to realizing your wishes…

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