Even though the majority of my time is spent taking care of my two little kids, there are often lulls when my mind wanders off, but I can’t physically go off and do something. I often long to go upstairs to my studio and get creative… but I can’t leave them alone. They might be playing, but still need me around, especially holding on to little Alice who is only 9 months old.
So it turns out I do a whole lot of thinking during this season of my life. It’s sort of a curse and a blessing. Too much time to think, worry, analyze and overwhelm myself with just thoughts! But it does mean a whole lot of relatively calm thinking time, which not everyone has, I realize.
So the other day I got to thinking about how I often impose random rules on myself and it causes me to think I MUST do something in a certain way. In reality, there are no rules… it’s just some weird psychological block of my own. An example would be something like keeping an official scrapbook versus sketchbooks versus art journal versus planner. There are many people who are currently mixing it all up and there’s no clearcut definition between them.
However, I have always been stifled by this thought that a planner has to be a planner, an art journal is for paint and not really photos, because you know, I’m a scrapbooker and my photos are there. Hmm. Why do I do this to myself?
In a way, I’m trying to organize, compartmentalize… because… you know, it makes me feel like I have things under control. But life is not that way and it’s all an illusion of control, because my things are not all organized in the end, no matter what. So why don’t I just let go right?
I might need some kind of mental detox to wash away all the mental barriers. How do you let go of silly little rules that don’t really exist?!