Weeks ago, I started sketching on ATCs, since the small format makes it an approachable daily routine. Then I got the idea to enlarge them and paint my girl drawings on canvas. I thought they would be super cute! I drew up a bunch of girls on the canvases I had lying around and was thoroughly happy and content with the process. Then I started painting them…

Or should I say fill in by color? It became a frustrating process for me in the end. I suppose my problem from the start, was drawing on the canvases instead of just sketching or starting with paint directly. I had my cute little girls there in pencil and I just wanted to color them in. Then I thought, jeepers, I’m trying to do what I do digitally! My digital work process does not transfer into a painting process that works for me. I also don’t have the control and technique built up when it comes to the paintbrush. It took me such a long time, but I tried to just go through the process at least and see what I could learn from it.

So now I’ve got a bunch of my girls on canvas…sort of paint drawn…weird. I cannot achieve the exactness that I see in my mind with the paint medium, so there there’s this major disconnect between the vision and the reality. When you work digitally, even if you have shaky hands or make a mistake, it is amazingly easy to fix it, delete it, undo, whatever! If I want to move something over 1 pixel only, I can. You certainly can still work on your paintings and alter elements – that is the process – but it can get pretty muddied up fast!

Thinking back to my big painting, I realized that I just needed to loosen up again! For me, painting is about freedom and non-exactness… sort of the messy beautiful idea. I work sort of in the opposite fashion when it comes to digital illustration and I don’t know if one can have these varied styles depending on the medium. Perhaps the universe is tell me I simply need to practice more. Usually an artist’s style translates through everything they do…but I suppose that doesn’t mean it has to look exactly alike. If I drew these girls up digitally, why would I want to paint them so they look like I did them digitally? Hmm. I’m going to paint over all these canvases and just start fresh, with no planning at all. Patience. Practice. Progress.

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