Although I’m definitely making progress with my creative business 101 journey, secretly setting up some things in the background related to marketing this week…I’ve also been a bit disappointed in myself at the same time. There’s so much more I could do – connections to be made, barriers to break and work to be created in the end. Does one ever feel satisfied of oneself? Okay, maybe that’s a silly question because we must in some sense… but I’m always plagued with this idea of not having enough time and wanting to get more done…and done NOW! I suppose these thoughts stem from looking at my pile of random works…

For some reason, these works are on loose papers, not doodlings or ideas written in my art journals. Just pieces floating around from experiments and random musings. Maybe I had a flash of inspiration or wanted to try something out. I haven’t thrown them away, but don’t know what to do with them at the same time. So it’s all stuffed in a file folder, stacked here or there. What a mess!

Do you have work that is just lying around? I’ve pondered throwing it all away, because perhaps it’s just a burden…I should be moving on to the next thing. But then I wonder if I should bind it as an art journal…for inspiration at a later time or just for keeping like other journals. I’m not one that often flips through my old journals, so I’m not sure if it is worth it. I’m just not sure…still growing and changing all the time as an artist. But it started bothering me for some reason…seeing the stack of unfinished work. Things that could have been something…but now are just nothing. Does this even make sense?

I suppose if your work is creative, but you have fun with creative work at the same time, it can be challenging to create with no end in purpose. With no product in mind, you are just playing…but then it also seems like you are not working and that just doesn’t sit right. Again, plagued by the thought that I should be working more because I’m so far from my goals perhaps. Sure we have to play a little, but seeing a huge of stack of play versus no stack of work…well, I guess it got to me. I let myself play because that is part of the freedom of working at home and building your own business. So I ended up just played more…taking my old watercolor girl cut-outs and collaged them into pieces.

I don’t know why I can’t shake this negative feeling of having unfinished stuff. Not being able to move on as I want to. I want results darnit! Even though in creative work people always say you shouldn’t think about that. But if it’s your job, it’s sort of necessary. There’s got to be a balance between creative floofy lovey dovey stuff and the business practical I need to eat thing. 🙂

Balance…that’s what I need. It still plagues me…or perhaps that is too strong of a word. But to this day I still remember one of professors writing in my final critique that I need to find balance. Jeepers…I am I so apparently imbalanced?

Even thought I allowed myself to play it all out, after collaging madly, the girls still don’t seem finished to me. More unfinished work play whatever…

It was definitely fun and I still like looking at them. It’s cute, they are cute…oo…ahh… but in the end, yet again, random floating pieces just lying on my desk.

I should note that the photos are all perspective distorted because I snapped photos of them at an angle on my desk. They look wonky, eh? Well, besides confirming the fact that I get glue just about everywhere when breaking out that bottle, I also learned that my watercolor girls started bleeding when the gel medium got brushed on top. I also noticed that the dried glue I smeared all over gives an interesting resist texture. Finally, I realized this uber heavy painting paper by Fabriano is lovely to paint on. I suppose this week, I just learned some new things…so it’s not all play after all. Sigh. Well, I hope everyone is having a great week and progressing in one way or another! Until next time…ciao ciao.