Do you scrapbook your thoughts about important events in history, in life really…even if there are no photos? I had just posted about the news about bin Laden’s death and immediately typed up some of my thoughts and printed out some materials to include in my scrapbook. It’s morning here in Italy, so I suppose it wasn’t difficult for me to take action upon hearing this news. Also, in the mornings I suppose we are more apt to just flow out a bunch of thoughts…I just kept typing and typing. And my thoughts grew from the actual event and reactions…to more general life thoughts and reflections. I’m thankful that a tweet by Ali Edwards actually spurred me to go ahead with it all.

In the end, I finished with such a happy thought…a sort of revelation if you can call it that. Maybe it’s nothing for some…but it means a lot to me and I guess…that is the point too. Not just recording memories and thoughts, but writing about it, is like working through it all. Efforts to understand more of your thoughts. Anyway, now that I’ve got this done, I feel like I can move on with my day as I normally would. Just had to do it.

If you are interested in reading my babbling…here it is…

Thinking about war… how it is a part of our world. There will always be sadness, destruction and suffering…somewhere in the world. And although sometimes we are able to justify to ourselves, why we fight back, take revenge, stand up for our rights…it is still hard to understand truly. I started to think about right and wrong…we will never know…meaning, there is no absolute right and wrong. It all depends on our perspective, what side we are on perhaps. Hmm…

I find it odd that the rules we live by on a normal day to day basis, seem to differ so much from our country policies. We took revenge by killing bin Laden… but aren’t we not supposed to do that? Or we were supposed to put him in jail, but given the situation of war, he was a casualty. Does that happen in regular life? Are we supposed to take revenge, when we think it to be ultimately right? If someone killed your loved one, would you think justice to be a death sentence?

All these thoughts, just make me realize that I don’t know… I don’t know a lot of things. And I find it hard to come to terms…to make an absolute decision about so much in life. Swirling around in uncertainty…feeling so small. Great events in history…lots happening…yet I just want to live my happy life. Ultimately, I am still concerned with me and my family. The direct connections…sometimes, big events seem so far off…

Is it silly and ultimately weak… to want to live in our own splendid isolation? Or perhaps, we must all acknowledge what is going on around us, but there is little we actually have to do or change in our lives. Life just goes on, right? If you think about the quality of life…ultimately… you make your own path. You can choose to be happy and content with what you have, even if you work towards more. But not having all that you want…doesn’t mean you can’t be happy and content NOW… you don’t have to wait until xyz happens to enjoy yourself.

I suppose my thoughts are simply spilling into those life thoughts I’ve been thinking about lately. That there is so much more I want for me and my family… and I feel so far away from it all. But that doesn’t mean I should sulk. There is so much to be grateful for already. And along the way, even as I work towards more things, greater things…I can enjoy the process. Enjoy the ride…as I like to say.

I think growing up it has helped me to understand why or how people can be happy, even if something horrible has happened in their lives. I used to find it hard to understand how people could enjoy themselves or laugh, when a tragic event has happened. But now I understand…that life goes on and you cannot let those dark things take over your life. Somehow, it’s like realizing something great in growing up a bit.

So all this news…this great important event in history…coincidentally announced on May 1st in the USA, nearly almost midnight their time – I wonder if they planned it because Hitler was confirmed dead also on a May 1st. Can we say that the destruction caused by those two men are comparably horrible?

I wish that things could just be all rosey, but I understand that there cannot be light without dark – all that stuff. I suppose for me… that means… that although there’s always destruction out there in the world and crazy events if you ever listen to the news…stuff that just brings you so down, just affecting you negatively. While all that goes on and will go on… I suppose it just means we need to counteract it all by being happy, by creating goodness, inspiring and bringing joy. There’s plenty of bad in the world, right? The dark side! So simply put… it’s totally kick ass for me to bring the light and live in that way. Huh. What a thought. So simple, yet … I feel like I’ve just been given permission to do so…because it’s how the world works. LOL

May 2nd, 2011


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